A Gift for HER  !!@%$#%@

Whats the problem guys ? why do most men think it such an  ordeal  to find   a gift for HER ! and why when challenged and frustrated by anything even remotely concerning their wives  not necessarily related to gift giving,  does your beloved and most significant other , without even knowing that she has offended  suddenly get relegated to below the salt of her husbands esteem,  relegated and demoted to the  rank  of a mere “HER”, as in , its all “HER” fault, “HER” at home ,”HER” over there, I don’t know why I even listened  to “HER” or  I’d go with you but  I have to go gift shopping for  a gift for HER

The only time a woman is referred to as her by any male of  “her ” kind and the word her is spoken without rancor and disrespect  is when “Her Royal Majesty the Queen of England” is  announced

Well guys I’m not surprised if you find selecting a gift for her such a dreadful chore or even a punishment, its the way you go about it that’s the problem and for that I can have no sympathy, its not as if you  guys were actually born without the gift giving gene, you have just the same DNA that we do.

I completely realize  gifts and gift giving don’t carry the same significance in the mind of a man as they do in the mind of a woman , the problem  is that most guys don’t realize it  . And after a big fat fight with their wife on her birthday after she’s  just opened the Wal-mart carrier bag he’s just presented her with to reveal a set of  hand towels , bed sheets or , a universal remote control…..where was your mind at guys . And when she has  calmed down and  returned after having fled the room in tears screaming you’d ruined her birthday AGAIN you cretin , your feelings were too  hurt  to listen to her even try to explain why she thought your gift was crap, sorry I meant to say so hurtful .

So before the next “ gift for her ” occasion arises while you are calm and unstressed I’m hoping to calmly and hopefully with a touch of humor, even if it is at your expense explain to you how you  can learn to buy a more successful gift for her , its not hard  its certainly not rocket science and if your sex can send mankind into space and land  men on the moon you certainly can learn to buy a decent gift for her.

Before I go on I want to perhaps put your curiosity at rest No it isn’t a figment of your imagination I am using the phrase  gift for her rather a lot ( gift for her ) and there is a good reason for that ( gift for her ) Having lived with the worst gift giver on the planet for almost 30 years and  yes I do think I deserve a medal ( gift for her ) but then he thinks he deserves one too , I know how unhappy and what conflict these times can cause between couples particularly from the lady’s point of view and if by just getting you to read this  while you are not angry or upset  I believe I can increase your good lady wife’s chances of getting a gift she will be happy with next birthday. And you know what they say a happy wife means a happy husband.

Anyway going back to the gift for her thing , in order for this article to cross your path  firstly I have to get listed by Google to do that Google has to know without actually being able to read,  what I am writing about , because it can’t read as we understand reading, it looks for word patterns or keywords ,groups of words or phrases that are repeated in a body of text so when you type into Google’s  search box words similar to keywords used by any given  web page  that web page will show up in your Google search results list

In order to make  lots of lady’s happier on their next birthday I have to get good Google page ranking by mentioning the keyword a few more times than other web pages displaying similar content (without sounding ridiculous of course how I was including “ gift for her ” earlier was me just trying to be funny ( gift for her )  I have had the below article on my site minus the keywords for over 6 months and no one (hardly) has come to read it I then discovered  keywords , so I did a little research to discover what was the most commonly used term used by guys when searching on line for gifts for their wives and use that as my keyword, to my horror and amazement it was “ gift for her “  but then you would know that as its what you typed into Google to arrive here. I am ashamed of you , I couldn’t believe that “ gift for her ” was the number one reference term used when looking for gifts for women, I stupidly thought naive fool that I am it would of been something more pleasant and polite something like “great gifts for my wonderful wife” not something that sounds so off hand mean spirited and bad tempered as gift for her I can even hear the grumbling tone of voice,  you need more help than I thought but don’t worry your obviously not alone.

My husband says he hates Christmas and birthdays as he loathes having to choose gifts, what he really means is he hates MY BIRTHDAY and I ruin his CHRISTMAS as these are the only two occasions he has to buy gifts at all, I let him off with our anniversary and st Valentines day I can’t take being disappointed that many times, lets face it I take care of all other gift giving occasions for everybody he knows except myself there I draw the line, although he has suggested on numerous occasions I should buy my own gifts he has often remarked that he wishes someone would make gift finding as easy as “buy this she’ll love it. pay here now ” Do all men feel this way and struggle this much over buying nice gifts or is it my ill fortune and its just the man I married . I decided to ask around among friends and do some research on the net and guess what I found …..I was definitely not alone. The consensus by far from both sides, men are lousy gift givers, their very worst fault is that they don’t think ahead.

Okay Gentlemen, you all must of come to the same conclusion by now, that there are a few occasions each and every year where you just can’t (no matter how hard you may try) you just have to cave and buy a gift for her ; on her birthday, at Christmas time, on your wedding anniversary, and some of you might sometimes even remember Valentines Day. Why then , even though you know these occasions occur, are you still not prepared for the fact you have to find a gift for her for some approaching occasion. For some reason you find it amazingly difficult to choose that perfect gift for her .You procrastinate and procrastinate until that special day itself has actually dawned , and then rush out and panic buy a gift for her either something you would like to receive yourself or worse still something “practical” like handkerchiefs,  stationary or a gift certificate, things so impersonal that your poor lady wonders have you been paying “any” attention to her at all , all these years.

Over the years that my husband and I have been married, he’s made just about every ” gift for her ” buying mistake in the book. Lingerie (to which I inquired “I thought it was my birthday” have you been guilty of this ” gift for her ” crime?

Guys If you’re going to buy lingerie as a gift for her buy the very best you can afford and avoid anything tacky. Tacky is of course a subjective issue , but believe me tacky regarding female underwear would generally include anything you might expect to see in an porno movie or that would take your wife or girlfriend twenty minutes to get into. If your unsure stay away from lingerie as a gift for her

Candy or chocolate as a gift for her when she is finding it all too hard as it is to stick to a diet plan ..have you ever been found guilty of this ?

Purchased clothing of the wrong size …  a most grievous crime

There are several gifts for her you should avoid buying at all costs, they include tools you would like to own yourself tickets to sporting events that you would like to see and anything else that does not match her interests and tastes but matches your own, such gifts as pool cues and bowling balls. I have been the recipient of both of these but he saw the error of his ways when seeing as they were my gift I wouldn’t let him borrow them EVER

You may desire the latest and greatest 101 inch big screen TV seen at the home entertainment department of your local electronics store , but are you sure she said she wanted it as a gift for her birthday? Please be advised recounting her preoccupied ‘yes dear’ that time you quizzed her during an episode of her favorite soap won’t get you out of grief on her birthday!

However, a much worse crime than the above, the number one gift for her you should never buy is clothes. It ranks right up there with lingerie and will do nothing but cause you both grief and heartache as you try and figure out what looks good on your wife and what size fits her.

It is something you should never attempt, its a task apparently too enormous for the average guy. There are too many pitfalls involved with buying gifts for her as it is ,with out over reaching your skill level and attempting to successfully buy clothes as a gift for her .The first no no in buying clothes as a gift for her is that you may choose items that are not her color. Doing so will raise the issue that you don’t perhaps pay attention to what she wears and you don’t “even” know what her favorite color is. Implying you don’t pay any attention to her and take no interest in her personal likes and dislikes.This is a very poor “gifts for her” situation to have gotten into , so avoid it ,or you could just always find out what her favorite colors are.

However the next pitfall is much, much worse.When buying a skirt, blouse or pair of pants, as a gift for her you are going to have to eventually choose a size, and this is where things get very hairy.

Picking a size for your wife is like playing Russian roulette. Guess wrong and you will pay dearly for it. Unless you are actually certain of your wife’s measurements, you are going to be guessing and that is dangerous ground. If you guess too low, then she will see it, as an indication of how you want her to look. Guess to high, and she will think you see her as too fat. It is a no win situation. Don’t be foolish enough to think you can get around it by trusting the labels inside her current clothes, as there are no guarantees that it is still her size, and not all clothes bearing the same size really are the same size ,trust me. So unless you really do know your wife’s dress size, avoid clothes as a gift for her , after all would you like to receive something you couldn’t wear because its too big or too small, to a woman it screams indifference and disinterest after all you sleep with the woman yet you don’t know how big her boobs are….common ,how would you feel?

I could go on and on but I won’t, I’ll save you from any more mental humiliation of reliving all your past ” gifts for her ” blunders.

Revelation #1 When buying a Gift For Her -Listen To Her

A good rule of thumb when buying a gift for her is to never ever buy your wife a tool or appliance as a gift for her special event, if it is associated with her doing more chores; it is probably not the best gift for her idea in the world, not even if they are a set of gold plated pans once owned by Betty Crocker herself.

If on the other hand you would just like to buy the new pans or appliance as a gift for her for no particular reason then this is a beast of a different nature. (And boy would you score big points) it would show her that you are listening (sometimes) after all.

Last Christmas my husband purchased one of those new fancy, extra capacity, deep fat fryers that you can drain and filter the oil out of, each time you use it, it completely disassembles and all parts can go in the dish washer , I was delighted. Yes, I know! I just said that tools and appliances don’t make great gifts for her but the reason that this gift went over really well is because he asked me what I wanted for Christmas.

Revelation#2:If you are Struggling Finding a Gift for Her – Ask Her

I know that is a jaw dropping revelation but I promise you ,at least a few weeks or maybe, if your wife thinks you’re particularly obtuse a few months before that special gift for her occasion, your wife will be dropping you hints, left and right and center in casual conversations everyday.All you have to do is listen.

Unfortunately, you are usually trying to listen to something else. Like “the Match” on the TV or “Howard” on the satellite radio while only pretending you are hanging on her every word (yes guys we do know) More often than not, you miss these “hidden” cleverly veiled suggestions and end up buying a gift for her that you only think she wants.

There is a slim possibility that your wife did mention on a single occasion (fluke! just happened to be the only time you were actually listening) that she would like to buy a new set of pans. But even if she did ,that doesn’t mean she wants to receive pans as a gift for her birthday. (have you sinned in this way?)

Again, such a simple thing to do yet you often overlook the glaringly obvious. While some ladies might feel it lacks thought romance and originality, which if the truth be told for most ladies it does, but seeing as it appears truly romantic men are few and far between most ladies feel it preferable to for go ,the romance and originality,than to find themselves standing in the lineup at the customer service desk come the new year returning the gift for her that he thought she would love as much as he did.

I don’t know about you but when I receive a gift, I really enjoy getting something that I truly want, I don’t enjoy it or want it any less just because I had to tell someone that I wanted it.

But,on the other hand just because I know what I am getting does not mean to say I want to be handed the cash and told to go get it and gift wrap it myself, this is not the same thing. And it does not let you off the hook of spending “your” time and “your” energy going to mall, traipsing round the stores in search of said gift for her item and presenting it on the appropriate day attractively gift wrapped,with a card you have actually opened and read the words.

This to most ladies is the bigger and more important part of the gift for her ,perhaps even more important than the gift itself, it is proof to us, even if it is only two or three times a year that we are loved and that what we want has been acknowledged and acted upon (for once) that we are important to you after all, and that you do care, even if most of the time you don’t show it, for more insight into the female psyche and gifts please read my post unique gifts for her

If you are blessed with teen daughters who enjoy shopping and you have realized how clever and convenient it would be to utilize this God given gift buying /wrapping tool, and how foolish it would be of you not to employ it to its fullest capacity.

Don’t be stupid enough to let your wife find out you did not put in the effort of finding that perfect gift for her yourself, (guilty or not guilty)

We want to feel that we are special to you and worthy of your time and effort and that time and effort is given freely and not begrudged ,understand that the time and thought and effort that is put into a gift for her or perceived to gone into that  gift for her is often way more meaningful to us than an hastily bought expensive gift, price for most women does not compensate for lack of thought.

This is particularly true if you have been a wife and mother for some time, we all feel under loved and under appreciated. We expend a lot of time and effort looking after those we love and care about, most of the time we feel we’re taken for granted, so when others display care and attention to us by presenting us with a unique gift that they have obviously invested time and energy into finding and wrapping (themselves), we interpret these kinds of gifts as gestures of affection and love, that’s why last minute hastily bought unwrapped gifts for her are not well received.

When you ask your wife what she truly wants for the second time, as the first time her answer will probably be that she doesn’t want anything (yeah, don’t don’t fall for this one …this is the biggest “gift for her” crime of all)

Don’t be crazy enough to take her at her word and not buy a gift for her.

Ok boys I am now divulging one of woman kinds biggest secrets ,what she is really doing when she says she doesn’t want a gift for her birthday is she is giving you the opportunity of expressing your fonder feelings for her, women need assurance in words spoken out loud ,that you care for her, to her it is proof of life for the relationship, what she wants to hear you say is at these times ,is  something like ” honey of course I’m going to buy you a gift, how could you ever think I would n’t, I love you so much, I didn’t want to screw up and pick out something you didn’t really want ,you know how clueless I am when it comes to shopping, so help me out and tell me what you would most like,you are very very special to me I should be buying you gifts everyday not just on your birthday”. Of course most women are way out of luck as guys don’t realize they need reassurance now and again ,and now that I have told you will you seize the next opportunity and reassure your wife of your love ……probably not ? but I can live in hope.

By asking your wife what she would like for that special occasion, you will avoid the risk of misunderstanding the hints she had been trying to give you for weeks and save yourself from the panic of rushing around the mall on the night before or morning of that particular event, as you abuse your brain trying to remember anything that she might of said to you., when you were giving most of your attention to the sports on TV.

Following these simple two steps comes with the guarantee that you will purchase a gift for her that will make your wife happy. If she isn’t happy with the gift, then you didn’t follow this guide.

All ladies no matter how down to earth and practical they may appear on the outside on the inside we are all suckers to a greater or lesser extent for sentimental romantic displays of affection and happy endings ,even though a few of us would rather die than admit it.

Now here comes a shameless plug for Pages from the Heart gift books (the handmade gift I sell over on my web page) and just because it is a plug doesn’t make what I am about to say to you any less true , the best gift for her or any woman for that matter can receive from her significant other ,particularly if you have been together for awhile is a surprise gift for her , not a birthday gift or a Christmas gift not even a Valentines day gift but a gift for her that she perceives as one you don’t “have to” give, if this can be a sentimental romantic gift all the better, because most of you guys don’t tell us how you feel or forget or never realized that we need to hear you say how you feel ,that we need to know that we are loved,I know that you don’t understand this “proof of life” of the relationship thing we women have going on ,but just because you don’t understand it does not make the need any less real.

Pages from the heart came into being for that reason and as a gift that husbands could confidently give to their wives without the fear of choosing incorrectly,as a gift for her that permanently displays your love and affection and would be forever cherished by their lady love as a constant everyday reminder of her partners fonder feelings ,an expression of sentiments, keenly felt, but too often kept within and having a constant reminder of your feelings for her means you don’t have to reassure her so much ,so really guys a Pages from the Heart gift book is a gift for you too.

After being married for 28 years to the most unromantic of men, one who is too embarrassed to show affection or sentiment even in private, a man who is as much a stranger to romance as Scrooge was to generosity before the visits of the three Christmas spirits. Not to mention that on top of that he’s also a chronically bad gift giver, I wasn’t joking above when I mentioned not giving your wife a bowling ball or pool cue as a present, or giving your wife a sweater though very beautiful ,but too small even to fit your 8 year old daughter, or a $200 gift basket of cosmetics ,when in all the years you’ve been together, you’ve never seen your wife wear make up, some gifts, for her for some reason, just go down like lead balloons. I know of what I speak ,what I am asking you, Is “your” wife well over due for a little romance in her life.

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Tagged as: handmade gift, romantic gift idea